143 space

finding the right directions

5-23-08

Every day I am loooking for what I cannot find,
Some days I honostly don't even know what I am looking for,
I am in need of help,
I need to find my place,
The path in which I live,
I know what I need,
I know what will save me,
I know who is my drug,
I know who can save me,
The issue is can I trust him with everything,
And yes,
I give him my heart today... Now,
I am waiting,
I am falling on my knees,
Jesus is all that this heart is living for,
By faith I have found hope once again,
By faith I found him in the least expected way,
I know He is there to Lead me the rest of the way,
He will find me when I am lost,
Will be the pill for my cravings,
I come to you hungry and empty but I know your love does not run dry,
You willl satisfy my thirst,
God will give me hope,
You found me when I was lost,
For that I am forever thankful.

Bring on Summer!!!

5-21-08

I cannot wait for summer! I love the feel of the wind in my hair when we drive to the lake. Or the times when I lay out and get a tan before jumping into the ice water. I love to relax and enjoy the music and to feel the strawberry bars ripe on my tongue. Or even the cherry fights! Gosh I can't wait to relive the good old days!

5-19-08

Peace

5-15-08

I awoke with nothing to hear,
Nothing to see,
I was no one,
I felt them inside me,
I grew to love what most people cannot see,
I have been touched but not yet found,
I roll away from anger and the fights,
I am inside you I am found insde everyone,
I am hidden deep so you must look hard!
Find me please, for I dearly want to make a defferance in your life
For I am..
PEACE

Always in memory!

5-15-08

Just to let myself remember cuz I dearly love every single one of them.. Joey, Peter were mine and I love them so much! My relationship with the others are so amazing I just don't wan't to forget!
Peter(My first cat), Midnight(Jordans cat), Joey (my second cat), Oreo(family cat), Barcley (family dog), Toby(family cat), Caley(family cat), Tucker(family cat), Chloe(family dog)... Marbolo(My first fish), sky(My first fish), and sucker(my first sucker fish)....
Though Peter, Tucker, Caley, Marbolofish), sky, and sucker are no longer here with me they will forever be apart of my life. The only time I opened myself was to let them be with me. I will for ever be thankful!

Becoming me... Is a beautiful thing!

5-15-08

Today I sat and watched everything go by...
I let my feet enjoy the warm carpet as I sang Into the mirror,
I felt happiness when I couldn't before,
I allowed my eyes to see the happiness through all that pain,
For today I let my self become me,
I touched the dripping grass and smelled the Nature that surrounded me,
I savored my food with each bite,
I layed beside old barcley and heard his heart beat,
how I love my old puppy!
I sang to my heart today,
and it sang back to me!
I watched children play and thought back too
"When I was that young"
Gosh how we rush through our lives
trying to find answers and by the time you think you know them your life ends,
So I sat here listening to the rain and smelled The sweet distance,
And for once I knew I was going to be okay,
And I was going to find myself,
How?
My heart just knew...

4-30-08

In every girl....

4-30-08

I pass her by every day,
She looks up only to feel the weight of a deep Betrayel,
She smiles and looks down,
What is so important down there?
Why not look into my eyes is see what is there?
Can you not see you are just like me?
She is proud down deep,
A passionate beauty who loves adventure,
Yet she looks down with a sigh of torment,
No one can see her,
To them she is invisible.
She walks the halls as girls gossip and boys Flirt,
She walks the halls in every heart,
She is apart of every girl,
She is hidden behind mask after mask until she no Longer knows who she is,
Or what she was fighting for,
She cries out in her bedroom,
With the radio turned up,
Her face in pillow,
She nods her head to rules she no longer can fight,
Day by day she gives a little of herself away,
No fight left,
No passion left,
She runs free in her dreams,
She speaks words of wisdom,
Dreams of a differance,
She is the heart,
Of every woman.....

4-30-08

confusion

4-30-08

Something has happened.....
Everything was okay, everything was great!
I had trust, I had love
I admired him, I wanted to be just like him
Something has happened
He used to yell at me,
tell me everything I did wrong,
Yet I can't say anything when he is cutting me up inside,
he used me for his own judgement and I fell for it
It is now too late is what he thinks,
He beleives he can just waltz up and take everything I stand for away?
Hell no! U can't turn someone into someone into your own image when they have had there own passions for so long,
I wanted to talk to him,
he avoided the subject, turned away,
I sigh and move on,
u see its the only way for me to become me
I ahve to be me because the more I turn away form myself the more I am killing myself.
Its like he is trying to take away my soul,
He looks at me and smiles,
No longer do I admire that man,
I only see the smirk of hatred,
I tried to help him but he won't listen he only makes everyone around him miserable,
I tried but he tried to change me,
I can't I can't let him change me,
I have to find my wings and fly away.